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Grandma Chin-Jab:
The Laundromat Encounter
By Don Rearic 2003
So, my Wife Amy and I are in the Laundromat and
I'm talking with the Owner (he's trying to get a bolt off of one of
the machines) and this little old Lady walks in and I say hello to
her and she asks me, "Is there anyone in here that can show me how to
use these types of machines?"
I say to her, "My Wife and I can show you..."
So, she is digging through her purse for change and my Wife and I are
finished and we're just talking to the Owner...so I hand Amy .75
cents to add with the little old Lady's quarters for the Lady to
start her wash, my Wife loads her stuff up, adds the detergent and
cranks up the machine...
"All of my grandchildren just left, they were here for the Holidays
my washing machine has been going constantly..."
So, that's done, Amy is talking with her and I'm talking with the
Owner and we are all in the same general area.
The Owner and I are talking about this other Laundromat in the area
where you can drop off your clothes and they will wash, fold and dry
them for you and you can pick them back up. I say something like,
"Yeah, they stole a T-shirt of mine and I was so pissed, I was
waiting to see someone wearing it." So my Wife holds up one of
Kelly's T-shirts and says, "One sort of like this one." I said,
"Yeah, they need to steal an ass-kicking shirt or something."
Haha!
The Owner says, "My granddaughter just got her Black Belt in Tae Kwon
Do." And we are talking about that and I say something like, "Well,
women need to know those things now..." Then he is describing "Sticks
with hooks on the ends..." that his Granddaughter is learning now and
I said, "Are they like a sickle?" And he's nodding his head in the
affirmative...
The little old Lady pipes up!
"During World War Two, so many men went away to fight, they needed
Police Officers and they taught me how to fight..."
So, I'm a bit interested now, yeah?
"Where were you a Police Officer then?"
She answers, "Baltimore."
I say, "In the City or County?"
She answers that she was in the City and they did not issue them
pistols, "So they taught us how to fight dirty because no one would
imagine that a woman would fight that way. They would not even give
us a baton, they taught us how to do this..."
And she used the word "baton" and motions with a Chin-jab, "right up
under the chin, break their neck."
So, I'm fascinated now, there is no way this woman ever saw a website
on WW2 stuff or anything and she is showing and explaining this
perfectly.
"And if we knocked them to the ground, we jumped up in the air and
landed with both feet on their back and if you do it on their neck,
that'll break it!"
And what she described was the good, old Fairbairn Bronco Kick. Right
out of "Get Tough!" She is holding her feet together while she is
sitting down, motioning this...
She is on a roll...I walk over and sit down next to her...
"If we were on the ground, we would get our legs around their neck
and head and twist with our hips, that'll crack it too!"
I look at her and I have this huge grin on my face, I look over at
the Owner, motion to the Lady and say, "She's mean and tough, I love
her!"
He is like, "She sure is tough as nails."
So, you know me, I say to her, "So, did they give you a little
leather blackjack or anything? You know, the braided ones that you
carry in your pocket?"
She says, "No, but if anyone gave us any trouble, we'd poke'em in the
eye, hit'em in the throat and break their neck."
And she is motioning with this edge of hand to the throat and
chin-jabbing again.
Then she is talking about how everything has went to hell, about the
abused kids in the news and child molesters, motions to her arm like
it is a needle, "Now they only get this, they get to go to sleep like
a dog, if I had my way, we'd hang'em up by hooks and take strips of
flesh off of them..."
And this other guy (NOT the Owner, another guy doing laundry that had
started his...) in the Laundromat hears this and I'm telling you, his
eyes got as big as golf balls, it was amazing to see...it was as if
he was either scared shitless or thought she was out of her mind.
I walked out with the Owner and we were talking about how tough this
woman was and how much spirit she had, I went back and sat down with
her again and talked to her a little bit more and she had been
talking with my Wife and I said something like, "You sure are full of
energy and there aren't too many people that think like you do
anymore..."
She said something like, "I exercise for ten minutes every morning
and ten minutes every evening, I know if I have to exercise for
twenty minutes, I'll never do it." And she just had such a warm smile
when she said that...
I looked at her and said, "You'll live forever, I hope you do
anyway."
I carried her bag of laundry out to her car, her husband never
arrived from the pharmacy with his cough syrup and I ask her, "Is he
OK? He never came in..." She says, "He's prolly up at the crab place
getting something, if he's not careful, he'll be walking home..." And
she is beaming...just smiling...
"You're just as mean as my Wife, that's why I like you, what is your
name?"
She says, "Dorothy."
I shake her hand and tell her I hope to see her again and tell her to
never change.
My Wife and I had been finished and we just hung around to talk to
Dorothy and we gathered our stuff up and we were in the car on the
way home...my Wife says to me, "While you were outside, we were
talking about the little kids in New Jersey and stuff again and she
says, 'rapists and child molesters, just cut it off and feed it to
them...'"
I looked at Amy and I'm grinning, "I sure do love Dorothy..."
Now, the interesting thing is, this 85 years young little old Lady, I
know that they taught her this because she was describing everything
perfectly and it's not like you run into an elderly woman in a
Laundromat every day who even knows about such things and talks about
them. The older (and effective) WW2 Methods that were espoused by men
like Fairbairn and Applegate were taught to Police in our country as
well. I guess this Lady was some sort of Baltimore City Auxiliary
Police Officer during WW2 because she was not armed, etc.
I just thought this was a fascinating encounter, and hope you do as
well.
Don Rearic